Of Rassie Freud and hookers for grooms

Lion is the new favourite dish of fine dining connoisseurs

What can I say, an exciting week has ended and a new one begins with this Newsletter, which will be one hell of a roller coaster ride as we experience the highs and lows of life, love, racing, sport and ladies/girls/mothers/sisters, writes JOAO DA MATA.

The Springboks turned nature on its head and switched from eating shrubbery to eating Lion last Saturday. David Attenborough is on his way to South Africa to film a documentary on this new phenomenon. His first stop will be with Rassie Erasmus, a/k/a ‘Rassie Freud’, who treated Warren Galtland like an olive in chewing him over a few times and spitting him out when the couch treatment was over.

I have never had to remain so quiet as I have over the last few weeks while I waited for the inevitable series win. Even the Bok camp’s act of bringing on Morne Steyn late in the second half was part operational (he is of course excellent) but also part mind games (he has killed you before). I always knew we would do it.

There is going to be a post mortem, there always is. This tackle, this referee’s decision, but it matters not. The Springboks, under the tutelage of who must now be regarded as South Africa’s greatest ever, have beaten the British Lions and that is not easy. So well done the Boks. Well done Siya!


The first-ever recorded strike action took place in Egypt circa 12 BC. For the next few thousand years people have taken towards striking as a form of solidarity against all sorts of abuse. Pay disputes, Lack of Adequate Working Conditions, Corporate Thievery, Factories shutting down Safety Concerns, and so on. So it hit me like a wet fish when I was told last week that most of the Grooms at Summerveld Training Establishment in Kwazulu-Natal, Sunny South Africa, were on strike again!

I asked what the reason was this time and then fainted after I was told. The Summerveld grooms went on strike because “Only 30 prostitutes are being allowed into their quarters over weekends and they they want this number increased!”

Read that again then proceed with your breakfast.

Summerveld Training Centre manager, Tony Rivalland told us: “Yes, it’s unbelievable, but the strike was on for only a few hours last week and a meeting with the grooms will be taking place this week. Women of the night should not be allowed in, period. To start, these visits may constitute occupational hazards in relation to the single grooms’ quarters which are different from the married grooms’ quarters. But there are only a few bad apples in the bunch who instigated the strike, we’ll be looking for a solution.”

T I A (This is Africa)! Only in Africa could industrial action take place over someone getting sex delivered to them in disputable quantities. If this was not true and had not affected SA horse racing again in a negative light it would be a Monty Python sketch. You just simply cannot make this stuff up!

Imagine the following:

Case Number: 378372
Judge: Mr XXXXX How do you plead in the case against you for causing destruction to property while on an illegal strike?

Mr XXXXX: Your honour, it’s because there is a shortage of Prostitutes for me to pay for sex…

Stop it Joao, Stop trying to make sense and logic of this bizarre situation!


IT'S A GIRLS' WORLD, OK!?  Don't knock knitting until you've tried it!  (Getty).
IT’S A GIRLS’ WORLD, OK!? Don’t knock knitting until you’ve tried it! (Getty).

The Olympics came to a close, we all have our favourites and for me as a former footballer and fitness freak (yes once upon a time), all I can say is that every four years I get inspired. I have to say, though, what I find myself inspired more and more by is Female Participants.

The International Racing Club has always been proactive in supporting the fairer sex. So it’s without any hesitation that I’ll state I love Ladies Soccer. The ladies 7s rugby was amazing too and if you want to see and listen to a super cool person then Ruby Tui is your girl. Charlotte Worthington nailed the Gold in BMX Freestyle, it was riveting stuff.

Tom Daley again won Gold medals and then quietly revealed his passion for Knitting. I’ll tell you right now, since my ex took up knitting she has been a much calmer person and evidently its helping Tom, too. Don’t knock it till you’ve tried it, and don’t suggest sending knitting needles and wool to Summerveld, I am way ahead of you. We need another Usain Bolt at the Olympics though, athletes of his stature were sorely missed.

They are the Kings of the rugby world, but South Africa came away with just three medals at the games, 100% proof that if you plunder the funds, force mediocrity into teams, don’t pick on ability but rather on colour you can’t compete. Simple as that.

One has to notice, as well, that under President Donald Trump, the USA got 121 Medals and now under Joe Biden only 113, once again proving Trump was the best ever!


“You can’t wait until life isn’t hard anymore before you decide to be happy” – Jane Marczewski

Reality Talent TV shows are not my cup of tea, however every now and then a little gem is unearthed. Jane (Nightbirde) is a very special lady. She shows us that ultimately when all is said and done, we are in charge of how we feel and deal with life. Look her up on Youtube, here.

The girls won the Shergar Cup at Ascot, again. Jamie Kah is a sensation in Australia and Danielle Johnson is champion of New Zealand. South African Rachel Venniker is tearing through her apprentice allowance in South Africa. Suzette Viljoen is the Champion Owner there. The astute Claire Balding’s coverage of the Olympics was so good.

Is it really “a man’s world”? I don’t think so, but I have no problem with that!


Our Newmarket correspondent tipped our Newsletter Readers three of five suggested winners in his Saturday column. Don’t miss, ‘Nick In Newmarket’, subscribe here.

On the footballing front, last season I went for Frank Lampard to get sacked first. I was a tad unlucky but at these prices one has a chance to make it back.

This year I am all over Sean Dyche to be the first Premier League manager to be sent on his merry way. There is 25/1 is available. Burnley was in 17th position last season and even though they don’t have the toughest start to the next Premier League Season they do have some tricky fixtures to contend with.

That’s it folks. I’ll leave you with a little ditty to sing along to, today…

In the Jungle,
the Mighty JungleThe Springbok
ate The Lion

In the Jungle,
the Mighty Jungle
The Springbok
ate The Lion

Wee heeheehee weeoh aweem away
Wee heeheehee weeoh aweem away


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