Onwards, Upwards… until… Kaboom!

In T.S. Eliot’s The Hollow Men, the world is predicted to end with a whimper not a bang. Now, courtesy of Vladimir Putin, we can reassure the late Christian poet that we’re firmly back on track for the bang. Does the potential nuclear war ahead, though, indicate a reconnection with God and a holy apocalypse? Quite possibly, if you’re a Russian nutcase blending KGB ambitions with those of the Russian Orthodox Church.

Vlad Putin is the oddest of former Soviets (read God-denying Communists) as he is a worshipper in the Russian Orthodox Church. His spiritual mentor is Patriarch Cyril (Kirill), Primate of the ROC, and reportedly once a grand-scale cigarette importer who likes to wear a Breguet watch when he thinks no one is looking – ‘nice one, Cyril’.

The Patriarch says Putin’s regime is ‘a miracle of God’ and he has blessed the war on Ukraine, though he does not call it a war but ‘current events’. No doubt when the nuclear weapons start flying, Cyril will yell, ‘Now that is what we in Russia call a war!’

No doubt Putin, Cyril, their oligarch buddies and other sweet Christian souls in Moscow, received a religious thrill with the recent test firing of the Satan II missile, which can carry multiple nuclear warheads, enough to wipe out a country the size of UK or France. At this stage, the UK is Putin’s preferred target, with an autumn date touted, so anyone planning a punt on the November Handicap at Doncaster should rather wager the money now.

It is interesting that Putin, the god-fearing potentate, Cyril, the nicotine angel, Dmitri Medvedev, the Christian convert and Putin ass-licker, and Foreign Minister Sergey ‘Defender of the Faith’ Lavrov are comfortable threatening the world with death and cataclysmic destruction in the name of Satan. This is how the antinomian mind works. Once you’re in God’s good books you can do anything you like in his name because his will and yours are now magically in lockstep. Satanic toys in these boys’ arsenal can be used as they and God collectively direct.

There is no point in rushing to your retro vinyl timetables to listen to Sting singing, Russians, and hoping the Russians love their children too. Sting’s song, an ironic take on the hymn, God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen, raises false hope because it makes no difference whether the Russian people love their children or not. These people are not the Russian state. The Russian state is a small group of apparatchiks who decide everything for everyone. Now that they’ve become a psycho band of candle-lighting God-botherers, and bloodthirsty crusaders for whatever exalts their nationalistic prejudices, we need to understand that anything is possible.

These clowns will keep upping the ante, adding bluff to bluff, until they outbluff themselves and push the button on mutually assured destruction (MAD). “If I can’t have the Eastern bloc for me, God, Patriarch Cyril and Mootha Roosha, then you can’t have anything either!” mad Putin will bark.

“Goodbye, good night, Na Zdorovie, and that’s the ballgame, folks.”

Is this an alarmist scenario? Put the three most dangerous forces in the world (mad Russians, nuclear weapons, and religion) in one spot and you will get a shit show. If it’s the worst kind, kiss goodbye the breeding and racing season and all the turf calendars for 2023. The only thing flashing past the finishing post will be the late, great planet Earth, with a couple of Hollywood stars clinging on and shouting, ‘I’m da king of the world!’

Robbie Dolan.
Robbie Dolan.

In the dying stages of the world, while ordnance for the Putin Missile Stakes is wheeled to the starting gate, jockeys are definitely in the forefront as they aim for glory before nuclear fallout descends.

Spurring himself on to greater heights is lightweight jockey, Robbie Dolan. Dolan’s first, much-anticipated performance on Aussie TV’s The Voice came this week and he did not disappoint. Singing Let It Go by James Bay, Dolan turned three of four chairs and got rave reviews from the judges. He ended up in the ‘stable’ of UK singer, Rita Ora. We’re all behind you, Robbie! (Read our first article about Robbie, here)

Nash Rawiller is another hoop looking for peak experiences. Only a week after copping a $40,000 fine (reduced to $30,000 on appeal) after excessive use of the whip when winning a Gr.1 brilliantly at Randwick on a neglected strip of turf near the grandstand, Rawiller thrust himself into the spotlight again with a ride variously described as ‘brilliant’, ‘reckless’ and ‘stupid’.

Rawiller was on 9-2 Godolphin runner, Kementari, in the Gr. 3 Hall Marks Stakes and found himself with a handful of horse approaching the 100m mark. The 5-10 favourite Big Parade was in front just off the rail, and 9-1 shot Count De Rupee was blocking an outward switch.

It looked for a fraction of a second as if Big Parade was shifting out and Rawiller decided to go for a death or glory rails run. It quickly became apparent that the run wasn’t there, but Rawiller was committed and in a few heart-stopping seconds he hurled Kementari forward, bashing aside Big Parade to his left and also the running rail on his right.

Several crash permutations were possible, with at least one looking likely, but somehow Rawiller and Kementari came through the no-go zone, and the gelding stretched out to win handsomely from Count De Rupee.

While punters like me (on Kementari, of course) shrieked Rawiller’s praises to the heavens, the stewards hauled him in and hit him with a seven-week suspension. Rawiller tried arguing that a 2019 ride by Brenton Avdulla had set a precedent for allowing a rail-scraping run. The stewards said the runs were different, even though they weren’t in the business of comparing cases.

I must admit, having put my pocket-voice on mute, that the stewards were right. Rawiller’s run was a swashbuckling but reckless one, and he deserves his holiday from the track. I will also say that it was the craziest ride of its type I have seen, and had my nerve-endings fully exposed. What utterly magnificent folly!

Those of us who see from a distance the fire-show that ends the world, will witness some magnificent folly too. Life on Earth? It was a blast!  – IRC.

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